FROM THE PASTOR
Stepping into the Vulnerability
Dear church,
Anne and I had the opportunity to attend the Institute of Liturgical Studies this past week as part of our continuing education and we left with so many things to talk about … our minds were stimulated, and our souls refreshed.
In one of the sessions, I was reminded of the context of the foot-washing in John’s Gospel, which we heard on Maundy Thursday.
And so, we enter a moment of mystagogy about that experience … I spoke with a parishioner who chose not to participate in the foot washing.
Let’s see where the framework leads us …
- “We recall an event or experience that was significant in some way or that caught our attention.”
- After the sermon, the pastors washed each other’s feet and then went to their own stations where they knelt at the chairs; they waited for parishioners to come forward. No one moved forward immediately. Eventually seven or so had their feet washed.
- There was certainly a hesitancy that hung in the room.
- I felt a tension within myself – a desire to have the experience and be part of it, but not feeling comfortable; it was too vulnerable. How could I let a pastor wash my feet?
- I’ve always been a bit self-conscious about my feet.
- “We share with others who had the same or similar experience, recalling what we saw, heard, tasted, smelled, touched, and how we felt about it.”
- As I watched it all unfold, I wasn’t able to sit and listen, even though I wasn’t likely going to participate in the act. I kept thinking/overthinking about the details – did I wear the right shoes and socks? Should I just go up?
- I noticed that folks took their shoes and socks off at their seats and were walking around the sanctuary with their bare feet– striking! It made me think about walking on holy ground.
- I loved seeing the range of folks who went up – someone near 8 years old and someone else near 80…the presiding bishop … an altar guild member … a young adult…
- I saw the care with which the pastors sort of rubbed the feet, not just pouring water, but actually tenderly touching.
- A pull to want to be a part but a block in my head; heart was willing but the head, not so much. I did want to be cared for.
- It felt personal – clearly a connection, unlike when I’ve gotten a pedicure or a salon. Also, odd that I am willing to pay someone to touch my feet but not give me the gift of it in this setting.
- “We connect that experience to something larger in our lives, especially to our faith, asking ourselves, “Where do I find God in this experience?” and, “What might God be saying to me through this experience?”
- I found God in my own reluctance. He was whispering to me about pride, how I should let it go. It’s in giving and receiving care that we see the divine among us.
- I’m usually the server – it’s okay to be vulnerable; it’s okay to let others serve you.
- “We ask how Scripture and Church teaching can shed light on this experience.” (some of these insights were shared by Dr. Karoline Lewis
- John 13:1-35
- Context of a meal, a last supper, but not the Passover.
- Jesus had already had his own feet washed/anointed by Mary with costly perfume. Sometimes we have to be served in order to serve others/fed to feed.
- The commandment to love one another is bracketed by betrayal and denial – by Judas and Peter – both of whom had received the gift. We give and serve to even those who will not return the act or might even betray us.
- The betrayal of Judas is not an act of turning Jesus in with a kiss but rather getting up from the table at the meal and leaving. He is walking away from the relationship with Jesus – he is walking away from intimacy with God – of knowing God – and goes into the darkness of night. When have I walked away from God? Do I trust that even when I’ve felt distance or been away, Jesus would still kneel at my feet in love?
- The role of servant reminds us of our call to humility and sacrificial love.
- “We ask ourselves how we can be transformed as a result of this experience and of our reflection on it.”
- ”It definitely made me check-in with myself; why was I both longing and avoiding?
- Noticing more and more that I also need help sometimes.
- I want to participate next year … what do I need to do to ready my head and heart?
- I’ve started asking, “How can I wash the feet of those in my life?” It’s a metaphor, sure, but it’s also about noticing the needs around me and stepping up to meet them.
- Why did only the pastors wash the feet? Why don’t we also participate in the actual washing? Good question! Some congregations have the practice of getting your feet washed and then washing the feet of another.
As we embrace the humility and vulnerability of foot-washing, we not only fulfill Christ’s command to serve one another, but we also open ourselves to the transformative power of grace, learning to both give and receive care in our walk with God.
Pastor Kyle
